2006-03-02 - 10:51 p.m.

To the theatre for the first night of Jezza Iron�s new thespian outpouring. I�ve always wanted to open an entry with �To the theatre� as it sounds nice and foppish. The play is a clunky two-hander and Irons fluffed his lines a couple of times, but the night was enlivened by shleb spotting, and I managed Little Kev Spacey, Clive James, Nigel Havers, Anthony Sher and Maurice Saatchi, who obligingly stood on my foot. He�s probably the richest ever person to have served me a physical discourtesy. I should have given him a badge.

I would write a bit more but I have three hours sleep before I have to go to Germany. I�ll mainly be trying to avoid contracting avian flu�like I was saying to Kristintracy, can you imagine a more boring way to contract a terminal illness? Breathing in near a chicken?