2006-01-04 - 5:23 p.m.

This time of year, of course, there�s so much chin music about what resolutions you�re making. Being a changed person isn�t enough � you have to be a BETTER person, and apparently resolving to be more of an obsequious pedant, sending out vicious hate mail from behind the coward�s shield of anonymity or giving up charitable donations you don�t really mean are out. In the face of extreme peer pressure, I have decided to make 2006 the year I will do things that I otherwise wouldn�t, and just to shut up the mealy-mouthed doubters, I have already eaten dried fruit and paid to see musical theatre, so even at this early stage of the year, we�re looking at a radically different landscape. A decidedly gayer landscape, granted, but who�s to say the other activities won�t be stubble-sproutingly macho, like watching a new televised sport or French kissing a rodeo bull?

Sadly, being more professional in my, erm, professional life, losing weight and being more healthy are just blatant necessities by now, so it seems like a bit of a cop out to resolution-ise them.

I do really want to travel less, though. Or at least, travel smarter. Was it really necessary to spend three full days at that Hungarian music festival when I could have been exploring the countryside around Budapest, or go to look at random Apple Pie shops in the mountains of San Diego? Possibly not.

Oh, and I really want to do a class that isn�t a thinly-veiled exercise in meeting girls.