2004-05-29 - 9:40 p.m.

Valencia, Spain

Funny how stuff like a train ride can make you realise what a complete rancid poo chute your own country actually is. From Barcelona, the journey took 3 hours in a clean, on time, air conditioned train which played movies and had a radio station which you could listen to on your complimentary earphones. It cost about a trizillionth of the price the same journey would do in the UK, on a train that�s as about as pleasant to travel in as a sumo wrestler�s jockstrap at the end of a heavy season. Today, I sat on a secret nudist beach, keeping my meat and two veg covered as you all know the dangers of todger shrinkage caused by cold unforgiving oceans, and I wondered why I haven�t been liviong here for the last decade. Of course, I can�t speak the language, don�t know anyone, would have little to no job prospects and would likely as not become a gibbering alcoholic thanks to the liberal licensing laws, but still - CHEAP TRAINS!