2004-03-08 - 3:47 p.m.

Over the last few days, I have seen two films with ex Mr Madonna and academyawardwinner Sean Penn. They have been of varying quality, but both have had a spittle-baitingly annoying bit at the end, whereby Mr Penn has a self-conscious monologue where he repeats the name of the film. Is it really necessary? Am I alone on finding that a bit patronising? Like we�re coming to the end of the film, and are under the impression that we just sat through Police Academy Six until he reminds us of the title? Or that the central idea of the film was so far above our foggy heads, endowed with brains merely the size of a dry roasted peanut, that we need it distilled into a handy phrase that is repeated very slowly by way of summary for the simpletons? If I needed that, I would content myself with merely buying listings magazine and reading the titles of films to myself for entertainment. �Hahahahaha! Lost In Translation! It�s about something that gets lost in translation!�

And think how other classic films would have botched their endings:

�I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship�where we live, here, in Casablanca��

�After all, tomorrow is another day�and today will be gone with the wind��

�I was cured all right�by a clockwork orange��

�Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid! Errr�.Caddyshack!�

Well, you get the picture. It bugs me in the same way that songs that have the name of the band singing them included in the lyrics bugs me, with the obvious exception of Living in a Box, by Living in a Box.