2003-07-16 - 1:24 p.m.

News stories that aren�t as exciting as their headlines, number 94: �SURGEONS CREATE LIFE SAVING ANUS FOR CONJOINED TWINS�. I read on thinking that some doctors had conjured up a back bottom-based super hero for the general entertainment of the tragic twins. It would brighten up their miserable lives by rescuing endangered people in an amusing manner at their command. You may think that being rescued by a living anus wouldn�t be much fun. OK, it�s hardly Wonder Woman, but if your life was quickly ebbing away, I for one would be overjoyed at seeing the Life Saving Anus hove majestically into view.

It turned out not to be this, though.