2003-03-29 - 7:24 p.m.

Despite the way ineptitude of the American armed forces, the biggest joke of the war so far, live on Sky News:

"Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in The Commons yesterday. "He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr" says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr. Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth."