2000-12-03 - 19:24:44

�Are you happy where you are, sleeping under the stars?�

My special guest today is a bit different, because they�re not actually on my stereo as I write, but I felt they deserved a special mention.

�I couldn�t live without my phone � you don�t even have a home.�

These are the lyrics from the new single by Mel �Sporty Spice� (yeah right � I�d like to see her do any backfilps NOW) Chisholm, which has got to be my favourite rude sounding surname.

It�s basically a touching ballad to, er, tramps � addressing homelessness via the medium of sugary pop. I feel this raises some important points.

Isn�t it a fairly questionable moral action, a millionairess patronising the unhoused, before heading back to her mansion in London�s trendy St John�s Wood? Or: Isn�t it vaguely commendable, though, that she�s bringing such an issue to the attention of her young fans, despite the inept lyrics? Or: Her arse has shrunk a bit though, hasn�t it?

�Is it lonely where you are, sleeping in between parked cars?�