2000-11-15 - 20:38:29

�Seems as though we never learn, even when the tables turn..�

No, but I remember someone asked me recently how I�d like to die. I thought about those asinine questionnaires that you see in the papers and people are like, �I�d like to die quietly of old age in my sleep, with all my friends around me.� Personally, I can�t think of anything more tedious to put my friends through than watching me die of old age in my sleep. Here�s how I want to die: It has to be live on national television (this is the medium of immortality now). It will be behind someone (Davina Macall) doing an unrelated outside broadcast and I will be about 65 and I will suddenly dive into the road to save a child from being run over and I will explode spectacularly and with lots of blood and, tackily, the child will live, with possible mild disability resulting. It will be repeated on the news, literally ad nauseum.

I wanna die like JFK. I wanna die in the USA.

�You won�t find another one like...me�.�

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