2000-11-02 - 19:43:48

�She was underwhelmed, if that�s a word�I know it�s not �cos I looked it up��

I went back to the office. They were desperate and I needed the money. It�s an even split between the workers � some of them are half past give a shit, some aren�t exactly going out of their way to talk to me, or offer me chocolate biscuits. Disappointingly, my friend of ten years falls into the latter camp. Now THERE�S a show of loyalty. But no, working in a small office where half the people vaguely dislike you is very character building. It promotes resilience. As certain annoyingly insightful people have pointed out, my life was taking on a certain doormat quality, so I see this as a valuable learning opportunity. Self improvement twinned with cynical financial exploitation. Needless to say, I�m not working hard.

�She he skips her classes and gets good grades, I go to my courses rain or shine�

I�m about to crack on the �owning a mobile phone� front. I can sense it. Just for emergencies, mind (�Hi honey�no, I�m just being robbed�yeah�.no, just leave my dinner in the oven�er�look, I have to go�he�s getting all agitated again�ok�.love you�bye��) I don�t want anything flash � no internet compatibility (I�m sure the pornography must have terrible resolution) or built-in FM radio or teasmaid. In fact, what I�d love is a big old plastic rotary phone that I could just carry around in my bag. I�d also love to go to a high-flying business meeting and, whilst the other executives get out their state of the art laptops and plonk them showily on the table, I pop out an etch-a-sketch and start trying to scrawl �Memo to self��

�I told her affection has two f�s...especially when you�re dealing with me��

The public transport system has finally given up the ghost in this, our glorious capital. In fact, I think there�s just the one train that just does one big circuit of all the tracks in London. Soon, it�ll be like India, with people climbing onto the roofs and hanging onto the backs and carrying chickens and stuff. I try not to get too stressed about the crowds�in fact, the rush hour crush is more or less the only physical contact I get these days. I commute even on my days off, just for the physical intimacy. Oh, I�m just kidding. But did you know that in Japan, where groping on the tube is a national pastime, there are brothels done out like tube compartments and the prostitutes are dressed as commuters and you can pay just to go in and grope them without fear of rebuke or legal proceedings? Mind you, they ARE the only country with a word for �death by overwork�, so I guess it all evens out.

�She says I�m caught up in triviality, but all I really want to know is what she thinks of me.�

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