2006-03-02 - 10:51 p.m.

To the theatre for the first night of Jezza Iron’s new thespian outpouring. I’ve always wanted to open an entry with ‘To the theatre’ as it sounds nice and foppish. The play is a clunky two-hander and Irons fluffed his lines a couple of times, but the night was enlivened by shleb spotting, and I managed Little Kev Spacey, Clive James, Nigel Havers, Anthony Sher and Maurice Saatchi, who obligingly stood on my foot. He’s probably the richest ever person to have served me a physical discourtesy. I should have given him a badge.

I would write a bit more but I have three hours sleep before I have to go to Germany. I’ll mainly be trying to avoid contracting avian flu…like I was saying to Kristintracy, can you imagine a more boring way to contract a terminal illness? Breathing in near a chicken?