2006-01-09 - 2:29 p.m.

The woman in front of me in the sandwich shop just now ordered “a cup of tea to drink”, as opposed to a cup of tea to experiment on or dress in small human clothes and raise as a cuppy member of her immediate family, I suppose.

On the bus yesterday:

Small Asian kid: Daddy, what’s this? (does sign of the cross)

Dad: (looking a bit taken aback): It’s the sign of the cross. When did you see that?

Kid: When I was watching the boxing. Is it a sports thing?

Dad: No, it’s to do with Jesus.

Kid: I might start using it…you know…when I’m fighting and that.

Dad: …

Then a few minutes later:

Kid: Dad, did you go on honeymoon?

Dad: Well, me and your mum just went to a hotel for a few days.

Kid: A fancy hotel?

Dad: Kind of.

Kid: With a plasma screen TV?

Dad: No,

Kid: Why?

Dad: It was 1986.

(silence for a minute)

Kid: Dad?

Dad: Yes?

Kid: Did you not go abroad because mummy already had a baby in her tummy?

Dad: …