2005-08-31 - 3:04 p.m.

For those of you not able to make it to the Edinburgh Festival this year, here is the Kickasso round up of the acts that stormed the show! Note, actual acts may differ from those listed below:

C(hick)en a L�(o)ra(n)ge (theatre): Cutting satire wherein a severed chicken head lies in the middle of a dimly lit stage, the only sound being a loop of George W Bush singing the national anthem of France played backwards. 3 hours.

Corky O�Rourky (comedy): Hotly tipped Irish comedian famed for his costume made entirely from peat and old Guinness cans. Last year�s surprise nominee for �Best Alcoholic�, O�Rourky�s gently meandering seven hour comic tales have been described by comedy reviewer James Riddel as �Sorry, I was too busy trying to impress sixth-formers at the free bar.�

Nippon Tuck! (dance): Wacky Japanese dance troupe performing an impenetrable routine which is rumoured to be Michael Jackson�s plastic surgery history conveyed through the media of surrealist mime ballet. �(Raw) Fish out of five!� - The Scotsman.

Faye de Whey (comedy): Feel the stinging firey lash of this drag queen�s lacerating wit, as she humbles punters with such killer lines as �Oooooh, cheeky!�, �You should be so lucky, darling!� and �What do you mean you can see my cock?� Word on the street: absolutely turgid.

Improdramarama (theatre): The sleeper hit of the year (�Try not to sleep through this � Zzzz/10!�: The Oxford Patroniser), four bollock-kickingly posh drama students from an Oxford college so exclusive that it isn�t even officially listed in the prospectus will attempt to perform in its entirety any play that the audience suggests! Almost no fun whatsoever.

Johhny Guff: Make Mine a Bitter (comedy): A former prize winning stand-up comedian, Guff�s show this year consists of a high-octane, high-methane salivating rant at the comedy establishment he believes responsible for him not being a millionaire with his own TV channel. Called �The comic�s comic!�, largely as no-one else can stick him.

A-b(s)urd in the Bush (theatre): Cutting satire wherein a severed bird head�.zzzzzzzz�..George Bush�.zzzzzzz