2007-05-08 - 9:01 a.m.

And once again we step onto the travel conveyor belt�I�ve only done the first bit and I already feel like I�ve had all my marrow drained from me. In a five week period, then, it�s: London, Amsterdam, London, Istanbul, London, Dubai, London, Memphis, New Orleans, London. The few days I have at home will be spent in the office, plus a charming day at the Amer1can Emb@ssy trying to get a journalists� visa. I know, I know, it looks like the height of aceness and global citizenship and twentifirstcenturyism, but to be honest, most of it (NO excepted) is going to be one grinding of gears after another.

Amsterdam was as Amsterdam does � it feels like you�re hijacked for three days by hedonistic fundamentalists, then they drop you off at the airport with no money, serotonin levels or liver function. Good, then amazing, then miserable. Istanbul now welcomes careful visitors with the worst citywide violence in thirty years and four recent bombings � enjoy! Dubai is the newly waxed armpit of the world � a place that has substituted airconditioning for culture and touts vulgarity as something to be attained. Memphis is Elvis � he was a hero to some but he don�t mean shit to me. New Orleans � a long-awaited return since my last time, a week or two before some kind of storm hit, I do believe.

Well, it�s all on now. Talk fast and keep smiling.

Also, I now have three sets of friends in various states of marital disruption due to infidelity. I have a strongly held issue with this. Not a moral one � you�re accountable for your actions, you did it, you have to deal with it. They�re not �bad people�, I�ll be there if you need to shoot the shit about it, I�m still your friend. HOWEVER�it�s far too early on! I haven�t even found someone to get together with, settle down next to and subsequently cheat on yet! Slow down motherfuckers! Let me catch up a bit! I�m still single and you�re already doubling up in the dating pool � stay the fuck out until I�ve at least got to one relationship behind you! Jesus.