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2006-10-01 - 6:30 p.m.

The other day�s �episode� has been since debunked as a severe panic attack (like, hurrah), which is quite unlike me but just shows to go what can sneak up on you when you�re not looking after yourself. Thank you for the nice notes, etc, anyway.

Into October, which as well as the no doubt dismal weather, means there is 10 days to opening night, which considering we�re not rehearsing 18 hours a day every day until then, is a not inconsiderably scary fact. Still, the sessions are coming thick and fast, and this month, the production essentially owns my ass.

We�ve been acting with the principal cast, who are all silver-tonsilled maestros with voices that could not only charm the birds out of the trees, but could persuade them to do some household chores whilst they�re down there. They do the proper operatic bits, and although I think the chorus parts are no walk in the park, we�re obviously not quite on the same level. It�s really something to be stood inches away from someone emitting the aural equivalent of spun gold, though.

There are four guys playing a heavy mob who look like east-end criminals with grievous bodily harm in the �hobbies� sections of their CVs, but when they open up their throats, what comes out is smoother than chocolate milk poured down the back of a baby seal.

Our songs and dances are coming along. Yesterday was �open rehearsal�, where the public could come and watch us do our thing. It was made all the more intimidating as it was our first time on the actual stage � essentially a seven-foot wide catwalk which the audience sits all around. There�s nowhere to hide and lots of places to fall off and make a name for yourself.

We�ve also had costume fittings. The first half is the ghetto-pera half, and I sport an amount of snow-washed denim not seen since 1986 in Russia. The second half we�re in smart suits for our Jewish wedding, and I cut quite a dash in my black and white threads and even a yarmulke, which makes me look every inch the nice young(ish) Jewish boy, a look a may consider keeping on if it increases my chances of getting married in the next 20 years.

Oh, and I have hair for the first time in 13 years as well as my hateful beard.

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