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2006-03-04 - 5:03 p.m.

Bonn, Germany

Baby, it�s cold outside, and I only have one TV channel to watch, and it�s continuous coverage of Bush in India. Just before that funny bit he does picking up that giant pumpkin and pulling his chimp face, he�s doing some speech and he refers to the USA as the world�s oldest democracy! On live TV! Er, even if we discount the ancient Greeks, Iceland outdates you by about ooooooojustletsseeaMILLENIUM, you stupid redneck monkey. Why is he allowed to stand up there and just tell outright lies? It�s so funny but then not really.

In other funny but not really news, last night I went to a traditional German pub for dinner with a nice lady from the tourist office. I ate wild boar and cranberries and drank sweet beer from the smallest glasses I have ever seen. That�s not the funny but not really bit. Her husband joined us straight from work � he�s the editor of a very big newspaper, and was a really nice chap, urbane and witty, and we had a nice meal. That�s still not the bit. This is the bit: When we stood up to leave, I saw that he was WEARING LEATHER TROUSERS.

Germany. It�s sanity calling. It�s about your fashion. What the fuck?

Before I left I watched You, Me and Everyone We Know on DVD, which I thought was an excellent film. The bit where the young kid is talking about back and forth poop on the internet reminded me of my friend A, who was telling me about his twelve year old son. They left him alone in the house for a few minutes to go to the shops, and for once, let him use the internet unsupervised. When A and his girlfriend got back, A looked at the internet history to see what the little lad had been looking up, and found that the curious tyke had Googled the terms �varjina� and �womens boobies�, which is about as endearing as porn searches get, I suppose. Aw, cute.

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