newest older email

2005-12-23 - 11:06 a.m.

The first gay weddings in the UK were nothing if not an open invitation to sub editors to come up with the worst innuendo-sodden headlines they could muster, the headline from The Sun yesterday exemplifying the mood with the tactful: �SIR ELTON TAKES DAVID UP THE AISLE�. Even the usually-staid Daily Mail chipped in with �All the crowd wanted was to see Elton�s ring�. It�s nice to see that the national press is more obsessed with sodomy than civil liberties.

Still, they are even more obsessed with penguins, specifically the stolen one that will die today if not found. We have Sky �News� on in the office, and they had about 12 reports during the day, live from the zoo where the baby penguin was stolen from.

Anchor (with a straight face, incredibly): �What�s the mood there, John? Are the other penguins affected by the loss?�

Reporter (not smiling, against all odds): �Hard to say, Jane�some of the penguins are looking a bit down in the mouth. I don�t really know enough about penguins to speculate.�

Needless to say, that didn�t stop him padding for another 15 minutes. At the end of the day, at least the zookeeper had some perspective: �It�s a real tragedy, but at the end of the day�it�s just a bird.�

That said, it must be embarrassing for the thief. I�ve been to pilfer the odd glass or ashtray when under the influence, but imagine waking up to find a flightless (ant?)arctic bird at the end of your bed.

I have to join the other 4 million people travelling up north on the same train in an hour or so, so I�d better go and throw some things into a bag. And then maybe pack. I cunningly ordered my presents online and had them delivered straight to my parent�s place, but it was all a bit last minute and I think I may have been scuppered by my own incapability, which is an annoying, if typical way to end the year.

Back
hosted by DiaryLand.com