2005-09-28 - 11:02 a.m.

I got excited like a complete dildo yesterday because I thought of a TV show format that would be a parody of the car modification programme �Pimp My Ride� only it would involve tarting up potential wives and it would be called �Pimp My Bride� and then I looked it up and it had been done by someone else several thousand years ago. You have to be quick if you want to unimaginatively rip off lame TV shows, apparently.

I did think of a few other alternatives, though:

Potentially hilarious jazzing up of sexuality-celebrating parade (Pimp My Pride)

Potentially fatal glamorisation of risky moments for lifeguards (Pimp My High Tide)

Potentially pointless gangsta makeover for the Bering Straits (Pimp My Continental Divide)

Potentially offensive experiment to make victims of 1960s drug catastrophe more �street� (Pimp My Thalidomide)

I think that�s enough.