2005-08-04 - 11:35 a.m.

So my being wide-eyed and jobless has been temporarily staved off, in the shape of a short trip to Budapest next week. This largely involves going to Hungary�s largest music festival � I imagine Glastonbury but with more goulash.

My only experience of east European rock was in Bulgaria a few years ago, where I was hauled along to a heavy metal gig by one of the tour guides. After a few indecipherable and organ-shakingly loud songs, I asked my host what they were singing about. He said it was �best not to ask�. Then I asked him what the band�s name meant. He said, �There is no word for it in English, but they are all�how do you say�bleeding to death.� They then launched into a heavy metal cover of Sussudio by my supposed lookalike Phil Collins, which made me wish I was bleeding to death.

The Budapest gig does have a few international acts, along the lines of Morcheeba (who�s album I used to think was called Big Clam) and Basement Jaxx, recently referred to on live TV by Primal Scream as �Basement Jokes�, and, with perhaps less wit �complete motherfucking cocksuckers�. There is also the chance I will be interviewing Natalie Imbruglia, which would be slightly surreal.

Coming up after that, with the Edinburgh festival in between (Disco Dave, Heeland Lass � prepare the ground, please) is a whole different kettle of travelly fish, a ten-day assignment in southern Florida. A US website that obviously has money to burn is flying out Brit journos to write about America�s Wang (� Homer Simpson), so I�l be winging my merry way there come the beginning of September.

Which is where you come in. I have to hire a car and drive places, which fills me with no small amount of dread. In short, I need an assistant. You need to be able to get to Miami, but then it�s expenses (i.e. meals and hotels) paid, and all for just hanging out, and navigating or helping with the drive, and making sure I don�t get car-jacked and die a bloody roadside death.
I have to do Miami, and some out of town, er, towns and I imagine it will be quite the amusing trip. If you think you might be interested, then please e-mail me. Ask not what your Pablo can do for you, but what you can do for your Pablo. As you were.