2005-06-28 - 3:22 p.m.

I haven�t been tagged in so long I�d forgotten what it feels like, so it would be nothing short of churlish to refuse the divine Ms Nictate and not list my 6 current favourite songs. I will then recall some Arkansas highlights that I forgot. In no particular order, then, top six for today, at least:

1. Huddle Formation by The Go! Team
The Feelgood Hit of the Summer, or at least it would be if it got in the charts. I will jump up and down to this if I can force it onto the stereo at some unsuspecting wretch�s barbecue, taking into account the necessary health and safety issues of people cooking over a naked flame, of course.

2. Be Sweet by The Afghan Whigs
Only they could sing �Ladies let me tell you about myself...I�ve got a dick for brain�� with any kind of humour. If I said it to anyone, I would find myself under some kind of court order before the week was out.

3. This Modern Love by Bloc Party
An inclusion obviously indicative of an ageing, out of touch loser desperately trying to claw back what long-since evaporated excuse for credibility he thought he ever had. Pity and despise him. �Baby, you;ve got to be more discerning � I�ve never known what�s good for me..� I don�t know what it is, but it�s got a good beat.

4. Baby Lou by Alain Chamfort
By virtue of being the most played song on my i-Tunes. What a ponce. Me, not him. Though he might be, too. Who can tell? I don�t know the guy. Jesus. Get off my case.

5. Talk to Her by Tindersticks
Probably the only unshifting fixture of this list. If it was any better, I wouldn�t be able to listen to it.

6. Punkrocker by Caeser�s Palace
They had to change their name to Caeser�s, because Caeser�s Palace obviously thought that an obscure Swedish pop group were a threat to their corporate identity? Man, can�t you even lift wholesale someone�s name and logo without getting some kind of writ these days? The Feelgood hit of the�oh, hang on, I already did that.

So, I forgot to mention the tribute to modesty that IS the Bill Clinton Library in Little Rock, Arkansas. You�d think that Bill�s achievements could be shoehorned into a small Tupperware box but apparently his greatness stretches out to several million square feet and a multi-storey complex that HE LIVES ON TOP OF. I can�t imagine what kind of feeling you get living in a penthouse apartment atop a self-built monument to your own greatness.

The general theme of the rooms goes like this: I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT (GOES ON FOR 100 MORE ROOMS) I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, (�ohbythewayIalmostgotimpeached..) I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT, I�M GREAT (GOES ON FOR 1,000 MORE ROOMS).

Now I DID rush through a bit, so maybe I just missed them, but where exactly were the exhibits relating to the bombing of Kosovan schools, the 700,000 deaths in Rwanda, the bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade, the blatant abuse of power and surrounding of himself with criminals, the murder of innocent children at WACO and, oh, lying to the entire world when caught with his presidential majority in an intern-shaped orifice? Call me Mr Picky, but let�s have some balance. Like I say, I DID rush through, though, so maybe those rooms do exist. I�m sure his motives are pure.

The other great thing I forgot, but sadly did not get a chance to see, is the wonderfully enlightened display at Arkansas�s new, state of the art Natural History museum, which is apparently one of the most impressive collections of recent times.

The displays here include such undisputed SCIENTIFIC FACTS as Adam and Eve enjoying the Garden of Eden in the company of dinosaurs. Just as NOT MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE. When creationists have to defend the existence of dinosaurs, they sound even more insane than they already did, which , by the way, is �utterly�.

From the hilarious creationism.org: �Simply put, (dinosaurs) lived concurrent with man down through the thousands of years of our existence, and they appear to have gone mostly extinct prior to our modern era. Remember that the word "dinosaur" is only about 160 years old. Legends of dangerous reptilian creatures (a.k.a. dragons) have been passed down to us from our ancestors across Europe, from China and the rest of Asia, all over the Americas (North, South & Central), and they're remembered in Africa too. Why should all of these legends/histories (spanning all inhabited continents, mind you!) be trivialized and discounted just to give credence to the temporary theory of evolution? It is important in science to separate the evidence from the interpretation. The evidence is that there have been these large dangerous reptilian creatures. We have bones, recorded history and footprints; we have strong evidence. The interpretation (or belief) that they all died off millions and millions of years ago is in dispute between creationists and evolutionists. And numerous stories in recorded human history of being killed by dragons/dinosaurs and of us banding together to kill them in return (among other important evidence) is clearly on our side...as creation theory grows stronger each year.�

Er, I think you mean your fucking brainwashing of innocent children grows stronger every year backed up by a lunatic president, even compared to Billy �I Will Build it and They Will Come� Clinton. DRAGONS?! Yeah, you really can�t move in museums for all those genuine DRAGON BONES.

Creationism is taught as scientific fact in schools in Arkansas, I was told. If that�s not a scary thought, then I don�t know what is. Again, it falls to Bill Hicks: �Ever noticed how people who believe in creationism look really�unevolved?�