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2005-06-22 - 9:53 p.m.

New Orleans, LA.

The good and bad (but never ugly) thing about going out in New Orleans is that sooner or later, a group of complete strangers is probably going to buy and force you to drink several Jagermeister Bombs, an evil potion involving said liqueur and half a pint of Red Bull. After a few of those babies, it doesn�t so much feel as if you�ve got wings than you�ve been mugged in a dark alley by a group of swans from the wrong side of the tracks and been given a feathery seeing to in no uncertain terms. You�ve got wings, but they�ve been inserted somewhere inappropriate.

Enough of that metaphor? Yes, I think so, too.

And so it was that a quick drink before retiring to the hotel turned into seven shades of alcoholic carnage, mainly thanks to the baffling generosity of a group of Floridian roofers whose presence in town seemed only to be focussed on having everyone around them as drunk as they were. Which was somewhere between �very� and �buttock clenchingly�.

�Drink it now, boy!� I�ve never been threatened for not drinking before, but luckily it�s one of my few skills, so down the hatch it went. As did three more. It seems weird to spend a hundred dollars so that you can intimidate strangers into getting drunk, but maybe Floridian roofers have more money than sense, and me.

Luckily, we were protected from harm by the diplomatic aura of local musician and bar manager on his day off, the unlikely-named Boo L@cr0sse. Boo introduced himself by calling my accent to within 8 miles of where I was born, which impressed me enough to listen to his home-brewed philosophising, even though he was completely way off with almost everyone else. Sometimes a lucky guess can go a long way.

Last night�s abstinence plans were also thrown into disarray by an impromptu goodbye drinks for Todd and Ben, who don�t so much let the good times roll as propel them like a champagne cork down the nearest steep hill.

David Sedaris is stalking me again, and in town tomorrow, which will be exciting if we can get into the bookstore.

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