2004-03-02 - 6:08 p.m.

I hate days that you set aside to be all creative and sparkly and go-getting that somehow turn into you just laying on the couch watching daytime television features about how much you could earn if you learned the trade of plumbing. I was actually stunned at how much these guys DO earn, but then the financial inducements would have to be quite high to have you spend that amount of time so close to faeces.

I had a pie, though, so the day wasn�t totally wasted. If there�s anything better in this life than a pie, I want to know what it is. Pies should play a bigger part in our daily lives, I think. And not just as a foodstuff. I for one am looking to use the phrase �You�re a damn fool for trying the pie and making assumptions about the pot roast!� as soon as I a) get the opportunity and b) work out what a pot roast is. It�s one of those American words that you�ve heard, and have an abstract concept of, but would still not be confident about ordering in a restaurant, very much like hoagies and grits.

The rest of the day I mainly thought about the implications of being a travel journalist, and not having any upcoming trips, commissions, or seven-book publishing deals with TV tie-ins, national tours (contraceptives supplied). I don�t really have too much to do with any of my colleagues if I can help it, but I�m sure current thinking probably sides on that whole scenario as being �A bad thing�. I�m no expert, but I�m thinking that not having any jobs coming up probably points to a pretty pie-free future state of affairs.

I did get published at the weekend, though, so at least it keeps my mum under the delusion that I have a proper job. And if you find yourself in an emergency situation that requires you to feign chronic boredom in a hurry, you could always look it up here:

http://travel.guardian.co.uk/saturdaysection/story/0,8922,1157702,00.html