2004-01-19 - 1:48 p.m.

Home on the range, having slept for a good three or four minutes on the overnight flight. I was upgraded to that pretend business class that they have now to try and get the peasants to pay over the odds for an inch more legroom and more choice of audio programmes. They always call it Jetset Plus, or Posh Traveller De Luxe, or some such rubbish, just to lure you in. Getting upgraded to that class is like being the Academy Award Nominee of air travel � it�s OK for a few minutes, but then everyone quickly stops giving a shit. I mean, it was good to stretch out, but you still have to sit with the same picknose yobs.

The Art Deco Fezzzzzztival was the least fun I�ve had standing up, but I did come away with some quality purchases, namely some old books on the rules of etiquette from the early 1900s. Since I�m way too spaced out to formulate anything like an amusing entry today, I�ll leave you with the words of Miss Emily Holt on the proper way to conduct yourself at the theatre, as if you cultured lot didn�t know already. I hope the word �box� has the same double-entendre value for you that it has for me:

�A gentleman invited to enjoy the hospitality of a lady�s box at the theatre should not leave his hostess more than once, and then only during an intermission and for a few moments. He never remains out of her box during an act or even a part of it, and if called out, he must return to her box before the act begins. In general, he must not leave her box at all unless some other gentleman drops in to take his place for a moment.�