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2003-05-22 - 6:49 p.m.

Who says we�re a celebrity obsessed culture? Three unfortunate motorists plough their wheels into the central reservation and try to walk to safety, becoming instant roadkill. Yah, horrific, but how does this everyday occurrence make it to the front pages of several national newspapers? Easy. THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO A JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE CONCERT, instantly achieving music-related superiority over the other non-newsworthy saps who pureed themselves on the roads that day. Sorry guys, you're just shy of tragic proportions because you were on your way to somewhere banal like work or something, and not to a global megastar whose name we can run across our front pages. Pardon my Ukranian, but SO the fuck WHAT? JT himself �expressed shock�, probably at being asked for a reaction at all if he had a lick of sense. Further headlines this week:

TEEN MOTHER IN FIREBALL HELL �HAD SEVERAL EMINEM CDS�

FRIENDS OF THIRD VICTIM OF PARK MURDERER TELL OF HIS FORMER EXPRESS INTEREST IN SEEING LINKIN PARK

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