2003-04-30 - 7:06 p.m.

Lara Pixgrrl�s wedding was the best day ever, and more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Sunshine, wine and amazing people �now I can�t possibly ever get married because it would be difficult to come even close.

I could have done with a few days to recover, but luxury golfing resorts aren�t going to review themselves, you know. Thankfully, the Fife coast fulfilled its meteorological commitments nicely by pissing down all Monday, meaning that we could concentrate on having Spa treatments instead of wandering about on the moors looking for little white balls. My tactic of moderation went splendidly, and I was in bed by, oooh, 4am having fallen over trying to get out of the presidential suite after dinner, and having exhausted my free bar privileges for some hours to follow with barbaric abandon. The sun came out rather annoyingly meaning that we had to actually play golf in the end, though at least having to concentrate on not humiliating myself meant that my piercing hangover could go unfocussed-on for an hour or two. I almost tipped a golf buggy. That was pretty fun, actually. And I got free golf clothes. Well, whoopee shit.

Back for one day before my week-long tour of �America�s Wang�. I feel like I haven�t slept in about three months, which is why I�m writing in this abominably boring way.