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2003-03-15 - 5:54 p.m.

Despite my lack of any obvious career path, I'm always very relieved that I didn't choose to go into mongerining. Fore starters, your average monger only has, as far as I can tell, five outlets - namely fish, iron, panic, doom and war. Of these, I suspect only two are immediately in any way profitable, and let's be honest, in mongering terms, iron must be about as much fun as doom. And fish? Just imagine the smell.

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