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2003-01-18 - 1:10 p.m.

You know you�re out of the media loop when the best you can do is pitch your idea for a TV series to the commissioning editor�s FRIEND, but it was the best we could do at short notice. She was awfully self-important for someone who just happened to know someone with a successful career, but then that�s more than I do. It was all going quite well until conversation somehow got round to who would play us in films of our lives and she asked us who thought should play her. I offered �Kate Winslet�, and it was a good couple of milliseconds before we all remembered that I referred to the self same actress as �Fatty Winslet� a mere half hour before. My short term memory is evidently trying to kill me, or at least my chances of career advancement.

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