2003-01-12 - 9:42 p.m.

Work on Friday, and I got an e-mail which is begging to be explored further. I type it with the original spelling and comedy grammar. Haha, aren�t foreigners funny?!

Dear sir / madame,

I am an art student, specialising in Design for Performance and my project is about selling one�s best possession. I always found that my vibrating eyes a bit unusual, and I want to sell this weird asset in the manner of a Kissogram under the appropriate category. We even coined a name for this unremovable gadget: eyebrators. For example: �Would you like to scare your friends? I come equipped with a full set of eyebrators that will freak your friends out!

I think James Galway* suffers from a disease of sudden eye vibrations � whilst I can completely control mine.

I would be grateful if you would take my proposal under consideration and help me composing the advert.

Sincerely,

As far as I can tell, this guy wants to set up a service where he gets paid to go and vibrate his eyes at unsuspecting civilians. I want in on this � there is such a niche!

*ancient, beardy celebrity flautist.