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2002-12-16 - 6:42 p.m.

This season�s most sought after Yuletide accessory in our glorious capital is straight off the catwalks of Jenin and Kabul. Gasmask chic has taken over. Not only are they being advertised with rampant regularity in our esteemed organ, people on the tube are leaving business cards lying around for commuters to pick up and order their army-issue facial wear without the need to shop around. At last, I say, a trend that is at least functional, and looks no more ridiculous than the collections vomited out by the fashion �industry� each season. Impending gas death fear is finally reaching fever pitch, though granted it�s difficult to distinguish this from the frenzied consumer madness endemic to this time of year in the West End. Apparently we�re to be wiped out in a blast of anthrax / smallpox / athlete�s foot ANY DAY NOW, though to be fair, they have been saying that for around six months. I mean, COME ON. Let�s get it over with. At least I might be able to get a seat around 8.30am instead of being crammed into conditions that even battery hens would find a tad claustrophobic.

In the spirit of festive apocalyptic doom, I�ve coordinated my commute-based reading material and am ploughing through: �On Dying and Denying: An Empirical Study of Terminality�. I find it a surprisingly uplifting read, because the between the lines message is you may as well be in complete and ongoing denial about death, because the alternative is, well�pretty fucking depressing! Some of the terminally ill patients obviously have quite a hard time doing this, but it�s good to know that it�s a complete waste of energy trying to work up a positive attitude in this scenario (really, who could be bothered?) because negative and denial thoughts result in the exact same survival rate. Er, anyway, suffice to say I don�t get people reading over my shoulder for long.

I wish I lived in my spiritual, and kind of actual, motherland, Canada for several reasons at the moment, but this feature in The Grauniad today was an extra enticement:

�Since George Bush came to power, the (Canadian) neurosis has begun to turn in the direction of psychosis, because the current Washington orthodoxy is wholly inimical to the Canadian political culture. Canadians care about the environment (they have a lot of it). They are instinctively drawn to multilateral bodies, such as the UN and the international criminal court, which the Americans scorn. The idea of an inessential war against Iraq is widely regarded as insane. The most startling recent poll showed 84% of Canadians consider the US wholly (15%) or partly (69%) to blame for September 11. It is a remarkable indication of fundamental antipathy.�

Plus, politicians (though they get made to resign) have actually called Bush �a moron� in public, which can only be a good thing. Geau Canada!

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