2002-12-07 - 1:54 p.m.

Wow, that police service gag went down like a bowl of lead soup. Anyone remember when I used to be funny?

December is such a malodorous sickly runt of a month. It�s never possible to get anything done because everyone started �winding down� in about mid-November and are now so strung out on Yuletide mania and the pisspoor white wine from office parties, that all they can do is sit like bloated tics, ushering out the vacuum of activity and trying not to sleep with Bob from accounts.

Me? I�m slumping down in the corner with my bottle of duty free Metaxa. Wake me up when it�s over.