2002-11-20 - 6:03 p.m.

Our readership is an intelligent bunch sometimes:

�Schnauzer breeders! Would any local Schnauzer breeder take a look at my pup, recently bought as a mini Schnauzer, I may have been misled and it may not be a Schnauzer.�

Firstly, you get the feeling this guy really likes saying the word �Schnauzer�. Secondly, I concede that it's always best to check carefully what you're actually getting when you're buying animals. You don�t want to turn up to buy a Shire horse, only to get home to find that you�ve actually been palmed off with a Shetland pony. And you should avoid being the gullible chump who invested his life savings in a shoal of Koi carp only to get them home and see them sink to the bottom of his water feature with nary a flick of their tales - he'd actually been hoodwinked by some piscine chancer with a old bag of carrots. Still, it's an easy enough mistake to make - a friend of a friend once bought an antique steamroller believing it to be a rare breed of parrot - so don't feel embarrassed about asking a suitably-qualified acquaintance to go along with you and verify the genus of your purchase.