2002-11-15 - 6:09 p.m.

Bad ideas # three gazillion: mixing another round of White Russians at 4am �just to see us off to bed� on a school night, only to be woken by call from your editor wondering why there�s a you-shaped emptiness at your desk and being two and a half hours late for work.

Still, all part of life�s rich tapestry, or in my case, life�s ragged, ill-conceived embroidered wall hanging that�s been torn from the wall in a drunken lunge and trodden on with mucky shoes. I mean, I ain�t livin� out Bayeux here, knowwhatimean?

I spent the day in a state of barely-disguised befuddlement, signalling my caffeine requirements through a series of monosyllabic grunts. I also produced some of the most incoherent sentences since they taught that chimp how to do sign language. No-one seemed to notice, though we did get into a needlessly detailed discussion about whether �Shire Horse� should be capped or not. Honestly, we should be starring in our own reality TV show about sub-editing.

Some days you learn big lessons, anyway.

Brit humour corner: Did you hear that Myra Hindley is having her head shaved for Children in Need? Then she�s having her torso sliced open and all her internal organs vacuumed up!