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2002-11-11 - 6:12 p.m.

A not-inconsiderably surreal kickstart to the week this morning as I arrived to find an over-sized, multi-coloured feather duster on my desk attached to a label with my name on it. The two people that know my name in the office both denied responsibility, meaning the day was simply awash with unanswered questions. The only logical conclusion is that this is a subtle hint from some disgruntled cleaners to tidy my desk � kind of like the light dusting equivalent of a horse head in your bed � but given that the cleaners would not know my name, even this seems unlikely.

My art editor favoured the hypothesis that it was some kind of voodoo curse, and that the anonymous hex-monger couldn�t lay their hands on the chicken entrails, or feathers, or whatever it is that voodoo types leave as a sign that they were here to curse you, but as no-one was home, they left a message. Had he been the recipient I�d be more inclined to agree, of course, though he does suffer an unhealthy obsession that there are dark forces at work in the country at the moment, and I don�t just mean the government�s foreign policy. His evidence is a headline in the newspaper last week that had the some might say vaguely excessive headline of �VOODOO BRITAIN!� I think it�s a slight over-reaction � OK, so one child was found decapitated in the Thames and appeared to have been used for some kind of ritual, but I don�t think we need to be cowering before the forces of witchcraft just yet.

Of course, should I accidentally cut off my head whilst shaving tomorrow, you can call me on that.

In other strange unanswered mysteries, someone told me that Shania Twain has one false leg � can someone please confirm or deny this?

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