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2002-10-22 - 12:00 p.m.

Yesterday, someone was selling some Veggietales videos, and since I had to trundle out some schtick about it (Haruki Murakami would call it �shovelling cultural snow�) I thought I�d better do some remedial research. I assumed they were just part of the usual kid�s TV gubbins, but no! This lot have a religious agenda! As we all know, vegetables were always vastly under-represented in the bible. Jesus didn't feed the five thousand by conjuring up a mixed green salad with Italian dressing. These videos seek to redress the balance, as religious morals are delivered fresh to your impressionable children via the medium of talking tomatoes and his bunch of merry legumes. This immediately throws up the existential question of what kind of ethical makeup a radish could conceivably have, or whether lettuce can possibly be in any position to get all self-righteous. More to the point, isn't the animation of God's sacred root crops verging on paganism? Sermon-touting celery and pontificating peapods were never part of the holy plan, surely? Still, if you�re happy with your child drawing its life lessons from a courgette�

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