2002-04-26 - 4:28 p.m.

Choice quotes from the Jerry Springer Show we watched the other day:

Cowboy-hat wearing man talking about his mistress: �I won her over with my redneck ways.�

Woman to man she�s just left for someone else: �He�s got more teeth than you�ll ever have.�

I sometimes wish I were an inbred mutant, just for the surreal lifestyle.

I�m off to try and avoid a watery grave as I�m being taught to sail by salty seamen (ahem) on a big yacht for the sake of journalism. Shiver me, as they say, timbers.