2002-03-18 - 5:45 p.m.

I�ve been outside twice today now and not seen any sign of vagabonds, hooligans or ruffians trying to purloin my hard-earned (yeah, right) moolah, so things are definitely looking, as they say, up. Thank you to all those concerned/bored enough to mail me survival tactics � I�m now a virtual mugging avoidance machine (i.e. I�m never leaving the house after dark again) so�good work!

In four days I head off to the West Coast. No, not Newquay, sillies! I mean of the USA, arriving in sunny SF on Friday for ten days and then driving down to loopy LA for another six. I�m obviously moist with excitement about the whole adventure, but certain setbacks (i.e. my complete failure to secure a single commission, and, ergo, free accommodation, transport, meals at posh nob restaurants and recreational narcotics) are looking as though they might yet rain on my vacational parade. It�s therefore with shame-faced regret and near-irresistible puppy-dog eyed anticipation that I turn to you, my loyal, giving west coast readers to turn your unspoken, abstract feelings into physical goods, services and cold, hard currency. I�m joking of course, BUT I would like you to be my eyes and ears and if you know of any interesting events/places/people in the area, then don�t be backwards in coming forwards and let me know. (And this is maybe pushing it, but if you feel like offering couch/front porch/dog basket space for a night to a poor jobbing journalist who can�t afford hotels, then you could earn yourself whopping great wodges of good karma, not to mention a night of boozy appreciation.) That concludes this very public appeal. I thank you.