2001-11-28 - 12:10 a.m.

�Here in the streets so merchanised, Rise to the bottom of the meaning of life, Studied all the rules I don't want no part, But I let you in just to break this heart, Even though it was only one night, It was fucking strange�

Crazy shit that might very really happen in the next few days, but probably won�t as I jinx it just by the very act of writing about it � I blag a long weekend in, um, Cuba; someone (a real paper newspaper) buys a d�land entry off me for cash money; the office decides if being a temp qualifies me to go to their Christmas party (this is troubling the higher echelons of management as we speak, and will no doubt go before the Temps Department (Enjoyment Sub-committee) sometime over the next week). Actually, I don�t mind if that last one gets jinxed � anything that involves your workmates and paper hats is to be avoided.

�Kill me now cause I let you down, I swear one day I'm going to leave this town, Stop. Yes I'm leaving Cause it just won't work, They act like Romans but they dress like Turks, Sometime in your prime, See me I like the summertime (but hey)�

Though I�ve lived in the same house for six years now, whilst about fourteen different housemates have come and gone like so many tenants on an extortionate rental agreement, I feel like I need a change of scenery. And it�s not just because the mutant nocturnal workmen have resumed their drill-themed activity at �convenient� times of the early morning. Much as I treasure my ho-bo-ho chic room, with its clutter and its onion costume and its wine-stained carpet that tells of a thousand people who weren�t supposed to be in there at parties, I need something more. I never see the people I live with, who are lovely and moist and chatty when they�re around, but that�s almost never. The times I�m not writing, I want to laugh at crap TV and talk about all tomorrow�s parties/panties/pasties and drink red wine and lie under big fluffy mutual duvets watching the Police Academy series back to back. Well, you get the drift, anyway. The most inspiring things in my life have always been my friends, but most evenings now, I�m resolutely uninspired. Come on. Let�s move in. You know you want to.

� New York City cops, New York City cops, New York City cops�They ain't too smart�

Today�s hyped-up wasters ,

If you hate this, you�ll detest The Detective - EPISODE SIX ONLINE NOW!