2001-08-30 - 11:47 a.m.

�Can�t you see I�m tryin�? I don�t even like it, I just want to get to your apartment��

I haven�t clubbed on a Monday for a while (not since that Arctic expedition for seal fur), but suitably fun D�land company reminded me that weekends are mere abstractions, and any night can accommodate alcohol abuse with reassuringly drunken alacrity. But oh my, like, god. Now I know I�m not the youngest hep cat swinger in town, daddio, but what�s up with all the young hipsters today? Is it so uncool to look even remotely like you�re enjoying yourselves? Has cynical disaffection reached such heights of fashion that having fun is reduced to a night of disapproving glares from behind whatever drink Pasty Twat Magazine has deemed socially acceptable to order this week? I say turn those frowns upside down, little The Strokes wannabees. If you all just did it at once! Just think how liberating it would be! You could, like, tap your feet, and express overtly positive opinions and stuff!

�Can�t you see, it�s them it�s not me?�

There was a disconcerting amount of people wearing ties, too.

�Is this it?�

Today�s special guests