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2001-06-14 - 7:28 p.m.

�And the mercy seat is waiting, and I think my head is burning, and in a way I�m yearning to be done with all this measuring of truth��

You have to love The Onion:

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK

Timothy McVeigh's death by lethal injection Monday has made everything perfect in Oklahoma City, his 168 victims' loved ones describing themselves as feeling "100 percent better." "I just know my baby girl is up there in heaven, smiling down on this execution, happy as can be," said a beaming George Browne, whose 7-year-old daughter Brianna died in the 1995 federal-building blast. "Her death is avenged, and everything's great." Said Oklahoma City schoolteacher Sherrie Olsacher, 37, who was blinded in the bombing: "You can't imagine how healing this is. My eyesight's even returned." Moments after McVeigh was pronounced dead, 168 white doves were seen soaring over the city, racing toward a suddenly cloudless horizon that beckoned the dawn of a glorious new day.

I realise the death penalty is a divisive issue. And I hear the arguments, and I�m sorry, but�no. Do we rape rapists? Now, admittedly, there would be something vaguely amusing about, say, embezzlers being publicly swindled out of huge sums of money by a covert government operation, but the logic kind of falls down, doesn�t it? Ah, I�m too tired to get into it, but just remember kids�all governments are liars and murderers.

�Into the mercy seat I climb, my head is shaved, my head is wired, and like the moth that tries to enter the bright light, so I go shuffling out of life, just to hide in death a while��

I have a friend who�s a spy. His final interview took place in a multi-storey carpark, which personally I thought was a bit too clich�d. He literally can�t tell us what he does all day � though an ex-spy I knew said it involves a lot of routing around in dustbins, so it�s no wonder he won�t talk about it. He won�t reveal if he has a cool codename, though if it�s anything like my Woo Name (Big Gay Mule), again, I can understand his reticence. All the spies live in one town. They all seem to do a lot of evening classes in things like Arabic and badminton, though I think that�s just because they otherwise have difficulties meeting girls. I don�t think my friend has a licence to kill, though he sometimes has a licence to claim for drinks on expenses, which in my opinion is much more practical.

�And anyway there was no proof, and I am not afraid to die��

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