2001-02-21 - 20:53:28

�I�ve been around the world, have my pick of any girl...you�d think I�d be happy, but I�m not��.

Even though it�s freezing brass monkeys cold, it feels like summer. I think because the fog of last weeks hernia-inducingly-emotionally-heavy week has lifted. Yes, I do feel better. And I heard an old friend laugh for the first time in ages. And I sold a feature. And today I got up early and worked hard for three hours and then, pleased with myself, had breakfast the caf�, reading the paper and having ideas for short stories and determining to revive the Minging Detective, even though it�s dumb, but on a different site. � updating from soon. And I found the piece of paper that I thought I�d lost with my favourite quote on it, which I�ve no doubt bored you with a gazillion times before, but it�s from George Bernard Shaw, and it goes:

This is the true joy in life. The being used for a purpose seen by yourself as a mighty one. The being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrapheap. The being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailment and grieving, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

�Everybody knows my name, but it�s just a crazy game...�

Productive meeting today with the director and producer of the short film I seem to be involved in, scheduled for �shooting� (that�s film jargon for �filming�, kids!) in April.

Me: OK, here�s the revised draft.

Them: There�s no way we can film in a toilet cubicle. There�s no way we can get access to a synchronised swimming tournament. I�m not sure we can find an onion costume. Five locations in four days is impossible (laughter). Can I nick a cigarette? Thanks. Would the characters actually start fighting, do you think? The thing is, the DOP will want to use a certain ASA, and for 6 G�s, it�s just not going to happen. Mines a Guiness, cheers. No, prosthetic body parts are really hard to come by. Can I nick a cigarette? Right, how much do those cuts leave us with?

Me: Er, about 6.4 seconds.

Like a voyeur at a peep show without any spare change, I�m learning there�s no point having vision without money.

�Oh, it�s lonely at the top��

Today�s special guest