2001-01-30 - 14:01:30

�I got life, mother�I got laughs, sister, I got freedom, brother�I got good times man��

In my attempts to get a travel feature in my fave Asian country, Japan, I�d been scouring* their literary history (*actually, giving a half-hearted cursory glance) to try and get some kind of interesting tie-in. I rediscovered Matsuo Basho, who was this crazy poet who went on these mammoth meditative nature rambles in the 1600�s, walking up and down Japan. He was/is the most famous practitioner of Haiku, and those babies, at 3 lines each, they don�t even test my poetic attention span. Perhaps his most famous:

Old pond,

leap-splash -

a frog

Crazy shit. But he�s really funny. He does all these intense observations of nature, but most of the time he�s seemingly half-cut on copious amounts of Sake, so obviously things like the swaying of cherry blossoms and moon-wreathed bamboo groves are way more interesting than they would otherwise be, and maybe them cherry blossom ain�t swayin� all that much, if you get my drift. My all-time favourite, though, has got to be:

Bitten by fleas and lice,

I slept in a bed,

A horse urinating all the time

Close to my pillow.

I mean, that�s as funny as yesterday�s TV chef joke.

�I got crazy ways daughter�I got a million dollar john, cousin�I got headaches, and toothaches, and good times too, like you��

But this leads me quite neatly to an appeal, dear reader. I�m awfully short of inspiration for interesting travel ideas. I mean, I can think of a billion places I�d like to go, but finding feature-worthy �angles� (that�s a bit of grown-up journalistic terminology for you there, kids) is a tricky business. And I can�t stress that business angle too much, given I was intending to eat next month. So, if you can help (and some of you have already � you know who you are, you suckers, er, I mean, adorable little helpers�), if there�s anything weird and wonderful going on in YOUR part of this crazy world we call �The World�, then I�d be happier to hear from you than Gary Barlow and Mark Owen would be to hear from Robbie Williams suggesting they reform Take That. Which is quite happy indeed, I assume. A lifetime�s gratitude and on-expense drinking awaits.

�I got life, life, life, life, life��

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