2003-04-11 - 6:29 p.m.

Merry Christmas! War is Over! Sadly the celebratory hordes couldn�t topple that statue of Saddam properly for the cameras (worst iconic historical moment EVER!) but at least we got the happy pictures of a couple of hundred people (out of a city of over 6 million?) kissing the Coalition troops, who didn�t betray their motives AT ALL by putting Stars and Stripes up whenever they could.

So it all looks pretty good for TV and the politicians get away with it once again � Bush and Blur no doubt had a hairy-palmed mutual ego massaging session, towelling down afterwards with Lockheed-Martin receipts and lighting cigars with the newspaper clippings that show Iraqi children with their faces bombed off. Peachy creamy or WHAT? And hey, it�s not like THEIR kids were ever at risk on the front line � not least because you�d never get the Bush girls or Euan Blair into a dry country.

It�s not a good day. We�re applauding murderers, the Land of the Free is sacking people for wearing anti-war buttons (�You are free! To do as we tell you!�), and I feel like five shades of fucking arse from too much wine last night, though the 1am mixing of a large gin and martini was probably another contributory factor.

Things I heard today that made me go into a froth-mouthed seething fit: �I�m trying to think outside of TWO boxes.� �Japanese girlfriends are very fashionable.�

I probably just need some vitamins. I�m going to Haarlem for the weekend. You kids play nice, OK?