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2001-01-17 - 15:37:39

�I decree today that life is simply taking and not giving, England is mine, and it owes me a living��

Coughsniff. I�m in declining health. This is what must happen when your alcohol intake slips to zero from levels on a par with, say, Boris Yeltsin. I knew it was a big mistake. I had this professor whose theory (personal theory, I mean, not academic) was that you could pretty much do whatever you want until the age of 40 without any grave repercussions. So he smoked 2 packs a day and was rat-faced pissed every night. He was due to turn 40 the year after I graduated. I expect he�s dead by now. That also reminds me of a boss of one of my friends who worked in the city. He was quite old, and minor aristocracy, and used to admit quite openly that his evening activities stretched to �smoking 4 cigars, drinking half a bottle of vodka and then getting some uncooked liver and wanking myself silly� into it. What respectable individuals the upper classes are. Anyway, I forget my point. Sneeze.

�Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body? I dunno��

Artistic censorship looms in the household. I adorned our kitchen with a simple piece of yer actual modern art and what do I get? Nothing but bukes and rebukes from my philistine cohabiters. It was merely a harmless piece of social commentary by Felix Gonzales-Torres. Entitled �Death by Gun�, it was an unintrusive 4 foot by 3 foot lithograph of pictures of 464 Americans killed by, er, guns in a one week period last year. Talk about sensitive. I suppose they�d prefer Athena posters of cute wickle wabbits or those freaky babies that that woman covers in bits of cauliflower leaves and other kitchen waste. I hate those.

Having a mobile phone stinks. No-one�s called me yet. If I gave you the number, would YOU? I bet you wouldn�t, you little tinkers.

�Oh, am I still ill�?�

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